


You’re all the air I need

by sthlmsyndr0me



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: But harry is home, Closeted Character, M/M, cause everything sucks, louis is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 19:59:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6580291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sthlmsyndr0me/pseuds/sthlmsyndr0me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis travels to LA in the spring of 2016, thinking of how fucked up everything is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You’re all the air I need

Blinding flashes, and that snapping sound of the cameras’ shutters going off in a manic speed, as if to save lives. If they didn’t get twelve pictures per second their owners were dropping dead, so the poor cameras really had no choice. A fluttering heartbeat setting the pace for Louis’ steps as he hurried through the arrival hall at LAX airport.  
Louis knew the paparazzis wouldn’t even be at the airport if his team hadn’t called them, but somehow it was easier to manage the hopelessness of the situation if he thought of them as pure evil, out to destroy his life. As the outer threat, who had nothing to do with him. But they had everything to do with him, and his life, and his situation. Here he was, Laddy Lad Ladderson, walking in his laddy bro clothes, yet again in LA to be near the mother of his illegitimate drunken mistake of a child, whilst partying with his younger girlfriend - who by the way had no problem with being a step mother at age 21 to said child.

How did people buy this shit?

Harmonising badly with the shutter sounds were the fans obsessive yelling from behind and the sides. He mostly looked down on the floor or at the back of his life guard, but sometimes he caught a glimpse of them through the flashing lights. He recognised some, the recurring ones who were in contact with management or PR och the label or whatever. Louis didn’t know how these particular fans were chosen, and he really didn’t care. Their faces made his stomach turn. Not that he hated them personally per say, he couldn’t blame them too much, but they - just as the paparazzis - reminded him too much of how little control he had over his life. Didn’t they ever get tired of it, of seeing him like this? Of knowing they were there for a purpose?

His ears were ringing when the SUV-door closed behind him and the car set off as fast as it could without running anyone over. It was his usual driver, Mallory, and most times Louis would be real friendly and chat him up from the backseat, hearing the updates about his two little daughters and normal life. But not tonight. It was past 2 am and he hadn’t slept anything on the plane, making him sleepless for over 35 hours. And even without the sleep deprivation, he was feeling worse than usual. Heavy in both limbs and mind, dark rings under his eyes, scruff matching the stressed writers in the most depraved parts of Hollywood. Louis found himself comparing his life with the billboards they drove past. Big and showy, but nothing beneath the surface. Was it worth anything?

For such a long time he had been hiding his visits to the city of angels, flying undercover at weird times and getting picked up at the back entrance to avoid being seen. He had hated it, he recalled while looking out over the skyline creeping nearer as the car speeded down the highway. Hated being anonymous, having to hide such a big part of his life. But now, realising it had taken two beards and a fake baby to publicly be in the same town as the love of his life, he missed what felt like simpler times.  
Louis stifled a sigh. Logically he knew he was being both childish and unfair - it was much now, but in comparison to earlier, he knew that it was ending. It actually had an end. It was just a bit hard to see, and not having been with Harry for a while always cluttered his mind. A sting of bad conscience raged through his chest. All the effort was for him and Harry and their possibility at a happy ever after. Yes they had to fight harder and yes it was fucking unfair, but it was them. Him and Harry. No way he could ever doubt that.

Louis was so deep in thoughts he didn’t notice they were close to home until the car stopped at the gate of the closed community, to be let through by the guard. Louis’ lips crooked slowly in a subconscious smile as he fixed his fringe in the reflection of the blackened window. He had no luggage as usual, all he needed was already here, so when Mallory stopped yet again at the driveway to Louis’ and Harry’s LA-home, Louis just wished him a good weekend and hurried out of the car.  
He was merely a silhouette. The lights from the hallway contrasted with the 3 pm-darkness of their yard. The curls glowed like a halo around his head, and his posture was welcoming, leaning with his shoulder against the doorframe. Louis felt his dimpled smile before he was close enough to see it.

The impact of the hug sent shivers down Louis’ spine when they clawed at each others backs, breathing heavily, as if they had forgotten what the other one smelled like. Louis hid his face in the crook of Harry’s neck, receiving peppered kisses to his temple, forehead and hair.

”I’ve missed you” he sighed. It was the first words spoken.  
”Babe” was all Harry managed to answer, hugging him tighter, his big hands engulfing Louis’ waist and shoulder. A shaky breath warmed the skin of Harry’s neck. 

Something wet stained the collar of his deep green silk shirt. 

”Fuck I’m silly” Louis said, excusingly, wiping his eyes on Harry’s, probably very expensive, piece of clothing. ”We haven’t been apart more than a week”.

Harry drew away and tilted Louis’ head up, to look into those beautiful ocean eyes, who were even bluer than usual as result of his tears. The messed up fringe and red nose made him look like a sick puppy, and Harry’s heart skipped several beats for it. It was the most endearing thing he’d seen in months. He quickly clashed their lips together, warm, soft and wet, into a kiss they both had been missing since they parted. Louis sighed again. Harry was the oxygen he had been missing, and the lungs were slowly filling up again, the anxiety leaving his body bit by bit with every deep, Harry-scented breath.

The LA-breeze slowly ruffled the bushes as the two twin souls closed the front door behind them, the taller one with his arm around the shorter’s shoulder.


End file.
